The following is our April Fools 2015 post. Thanks for the fun, everyone!
Years of market sector analysis, conducted by our elite research team, has demonstrated that most crowdfunders have to do a password reset every time they want to check up on their stats! Read on to find out more…
For the past few years, the team at IgnitionDeck has been holding weekly all-hands-on-deck meetings in which we brainstorm on the purpose of our company and how to help our customers best. We constantly remind each other to think outside the box. We say it all the time. Think outside the box!
And it seems to have helped. It was in one of these intense, mandatory mind-meld sessions that a member of our H.R. department came up with an idea which, through about two years of subsequent meetings and tireless debate, has grown into the most important decision we’ve made about our company’s future since our modest founding in 2011.
Today we are announcing some major changes which, although slightly painful for us to have made, we think have resulted in what will become the most important tool in any successful crowdfunder’s arsenal. We have been forced to also announce the layoff of all but one member of our staff as a result, but the good news is, this is probably one of the most important announcements in the history of websites.
Self-Hosted Crowdfunding is Over.
In the beginning we thought what crowdfunders could benefit from most would be the double-whammy of being able to keep their money, surrendering nothing to a third-party crowdfunding service, and at the same time, the ability to completely customize their platform, especially how and when funds are delivered.
Unfortunately, while building and distributing self-hosted crowdfunding and e-commerce platforms that run on WordPress has been a lot of fun, we have decided that the single biggest problem crowdfunders face is in fact NOT the lack of control they have over the platform, or the money they are needlessly handing over to third-party crowdfunding services. It’s passwords.
Years of market sector analysis, conducted by our elite research team, has demonstrated that most crowdfunders have to do a password reset every time they want to check up on their stats! This is a lot of wasted time, and we know it isn’t fun. And it’s also not fun for us to be forced to lay off an elite research team, but since we are dedicated to making our customers successful, it’s the hard decision we have been forced to make… for YOU!
Today we officially announce that we are pulling the plug on IgnitionDeck Crowdfunding and IgnitionDeck Commerce. Anyone currently using our crowdfunding and e-commerce software products may continue to do so until April 30th, 2015, at 11:59pm (GMT -5). At 12:00am on May 1st, all IgnitionDeck-powered sites will cease to function and any pledges or pre-orders not processed will be lost forever. <— this was part of the April Fools fun, but is not true! IgnitionDeck and its products will be around for a long time! Until that time, our support staff has been re-trained and is now poised to help our customers set up accounts at popular crowdfunding services like Kickstarter and Indiegogo.
Are we sure? Yes. Because it’s been time for the future for a while now.
KICKSCRIBBLR™ is a powerful new password management tool, and our new singular focus as a company dedicated to empowering crowdfunders, entrepreneurs, non-profits, small business owners, artists, contractors, freelancers, grandparents, managers, small children, and top-level executives. We’ve designed KICKSCRIBBLR™ especially with you in mind! From now on, you will rarely need to do very many password resets.
How does it work?
Sign up for KICKSCRIBBLR™ using the instructions below, and within 18 weeks, you’ll receive a package containing your first KICKSCRIBBLR™ PASSFLIPPR™ starter kit.
The PASSFLIPPR™ kit includes one FlipPager™ tablet, and one INKYGOGO™ stylus.
Use your new INKYGOGO™ stylus to write on your FlipPager™ tablet: the name of a website, the username you use for that site, and finally, the password you use for that site. Then, if you want, you can draw a line or something, using your INKYGOGO™ stylus, across the FlipPager™ tablet, in order to separate that information more clearly from other info you might add later on.
If you run out of room on the front of your FlipPager™ tablet, don’t worry. You can “flip” your FlipPager™ tablet to new “pages” that can hold more login info!
When you’re all done, hide your KICKSRIBBLR™ system in a secure place, like under your mattress, in the trunk of your car, in your dresser or freezer, or seal it in plastic (or put it in a waterproof container) and burry it in the back yard.
Then, the next day, or whenever you’re ready to experience your new life without constant password resets, go get your KICKSCRIBBLR™ system from its secure location, hiding place, or dig it up if it’s covered up by some dirt. Your username(s) and password(s) will be there for you just like the moment you stored them in your KICKSCRIBBLR™ system!
More Good News? Yep.
KICKSCRIBBLR™ systems can be used for more than just crowdfunding sites. In fact, KICKSCRIBBLR™ systems can be used for any website that has a username and password. And if you want, you can even store other important data using your KICKSCRIBBLR™ system, like:
- An important date that you need to remember because something is going to happen on that day
- An important phone number or email address that you don’t want to forget
- An important thing that you hope you remember to do. Don’t worry, you will now!
How much does it cost?
If you’re a crowdfunder, the value of our PASSFLIPPR™ starter kit will be clear. $49.95 only amounts to about 5% of your crowdfunding goal, if your goal is $1,000. If you raise $10, 000, your PASSFLIPPR™ starter kit will only cost 0.5% of your revenue. Unlike your favorite third-party crowdfunding service, we have decided to provide our product at a flat rate (instead of taking a percentage of your money). And since our product can be used for more than just crowdfunding, the value is clear.
And there’s more on the horizon…
In the next several months, we will be rolling out several other KICKSCRIBLLR™ packages and services. A few that are already near deployment include:
- KICKSCRIBBLR™ CopyMailr™: A subscription-based premium off-site backup system for all KICKSCRIBBLR™ systems
- KICKSCRIBBLR™CopyFaxr™: A subscription-based premium off-site backup system for all KICKSCRIBBLR™ systems that integrates seamlessly with your business’ existing FAX infrastructure
- KICKSCRIBBLR™ BIGBIZR™: A bulk discount package for organizations or large families that have high-volume needs
- The KICKSCRIBBLR™ AMIGO-GOGO™ SupportPlus++ Package™: A premium support package for people that want to know that when they send a letter or fax, they’ll probably get one back pretty soon
- INKYGOGO™ ANYWRITR™: A special edition version of the INKYGOGO™ stylus that works on most analogue tablets and is priced for smaller budgets.
Sign up now. It’s easy!
Mail a money order or cashier’s check for $49.95, plus $14.95 shipping and handling to:
ATTN: Nathan & Shawn
Exuma, The Bahamas
Be sure to include your name, phone number, and mailing address.
When your new KICKSCRIBBLR™ system arrives, take care not to injure yourself or the product when opening the box.
We’re standing by now to ship your new KICKSCRIBBLR™ system, so order today!